Facing Our Feelings

We live in a culture that is increasingly driven by emotions. From the “if it feels good, just do it” mindset to the YOLO (You Only Live Once) mentality, our society increasingly over-emphasises following our feelings to guide our decisions. This has led to a culture that elevates selfish, flesh-driven desires and fosters an ever-growing pursuit of emotional highs or the escaping emotional lows. Therefore, this inevitably leads to negative emotions deemed bad, while only positive emotions are seen as valuable.

We see this dynamic especially in the life of addiction. Substance abuse either serves as the way to fulfil a fleeting ‘right now’ desire or an escape from confronting difficult emotions. Whether faced with major life decisions or day to day choices, addicts often prioritise emotions over principles or truth. Emotions take centre stage and once allowed, come to dominate and control our lives. Whether we choose to numb difficult emotions or give in to their demands, either way we allow ourselves to become trapped by them. 

At Hope for Addiction UK, we believe that emotions are a gift from God, intended to serve us rather than master us. We encourage one another to not let our emotions go unchecked, but to engage with them in a way that helps us understand what is truly happening within us. Emotions are an overflow of what is in the heart and can offer valuable insight into our deepest desires and intentions.  By examining our emotions, we can better discern what matters most to us and, ultimately, what or who is at the centre of our affections.

Engaging with our emotions is not easy. It requires us to walk a deliberate path between the two extremes of allowing our emotions to dictate our actions or the refusal to address them altogether. But we don’t have to do this hard work alone. Engaging God in the process is key. Too often, we think that God isn’t interested in how we feel, especially when those feelings are negative. Yet, in His goodness, God invites us to express our deepest, hardest and darkest emotions to Him. In the Psalms we find words for our disappointments; in Job, we can cry out in our anguish; in Lamentations, we find a voice for our despair over our own failings and the brokenness around us.  God offers us the space to engage not just with our emotions, but with Him in the midst of them.

At Hope for Addiction, we often share a saying: “The good thing about getting clean and sober is you get your feelings back, but the hard thing about getting clean and sober is you get your feelings back”. As we sober up, we begin to feel again, often experiencing a resurgence of emotions we’ve tried to escape in the past or a desire to once again chase emotional highs.

So, how should we respond? First, by remembering how we reacted to our emotions in the past – and where that led us. Never forget to remember the destructive path addiction has taken us down.

Second, recognize that there is another way forward. Psalm 62:8 offers a powerful response to both the highs and lows of life. It urges us to “trust in Him at all times,” and to “pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.” This verse reminds us that God is a trustworthy refuge, who offers us a safe place to get it all ‘off our chest,’ – indeed a shelter from the storms of life where we can flee.

Third, reflect on Jesus Christ, who, as God in the flesh, fully embodied the entire range of human emotions while responding perfectly. He not only understands our feelings, but also provides the perfect example for how to navigate them. Jesus demonstrated precisely how and when to engage His emotions, even delaying immediate gratification to endure the Cross, all for the joy set before him (Hebrews 12:2).